Philadelphia Freedom

So I’m finished Red, White and Boozing it. Alas, people just don’t know how to party like they used to, kick it olde school, chillax. The forefathers knew the true meaning of hootenanny.

Yo Dude, Philadelphia- 1st City of Freedom, For White Men.

Of course the amount of tourist combing the streets of the nation’s first capital was astounding. The actual day, I flew under the radar just choosing to have dinner with a few friends and fall asleep to the John Legend concert on TV. (Phreaked don’t do crowds baby) Not that John wasn’t rocking it; he performed with my lady Estelle too, but I was full of delicious steak, corn-jalepeno muffins, potato salad and MORE! Don’t worry, I made up for it Saturday night.

Time to get back to work.

The week ahead:

‘Raising a Toast’ -The featured coctail I just can’t get out of my head… and where to get it

‘Red Hott Wedding’ - The color red makes a commitment

‘Spot O’ Lunch’ - Profiling a great lunch spot in Center City

Check back in soon!

Center City Swills, Slurps and Staggers

Center City Sips Wrap Up

So what else was I doing in my time away from you? For a period of time: nothing fun. I was on a detox diet. I was confining myself to meats, veggies and fruits. What’s worse: NO ALCOHOL!

I was going strong for about three weeks and then a lovely Wednesday afternoon and a trip to Vintage sent me falling off the wagon!

Every Wednesday the Center City District presents an occasion to get hammered and grope men in suits who are pretending to “network”. With gas prices so high and the shore feeling oh-so-far-away, I am sure the cubicle set are even more amped to get down with the animal within. Wednesday becomes the new weekend: Jersey shore debauchery come early, folks.

A few weeks ago, I had a grand ole time touring around with my alcoholic, yet amazingly well-planed, cohorts. We decided to have a drink at each bar and really make the most of our Rittenhouse mini-crawl.

Table 31: Too crowded. INFLATED on all accounts. Sangria was lovely. Trying to order some nibblin’s was impossible. Of course our waitress was no where to be found when we needed our check.

Chima: Was holding a private event so unfortunately we had to move elsewhere. Hit it up this past Wednesday for just a glass of wine however and was quite impressed by the décor of crème, red, textiles, and circles. Hawwwt!!

Elephant and Castle: Always looked like an interesting watering hole on the outside. Yet inside?? Very VERY ordinary patrons. We grabbed some chicken tenders and potato skins to pad our stomachs. Adding to the junk food mood I ordered a featured drink called Cherry Coke. Mmmmm…

Mantra: My favorite stop. We set up shop at the downstairs bar. Striking: a rippled golden wall and mirrored mosaic installation make the bar a haven. We tried pot stickers, delish, and believe me, I’ve tried many a pot sticker that has fallen flat.Our bartender kept Redhead Asians coming! I would fancy the concoction a sort of Sake Cosmo except with Pear.

Mantra

Post 7 o’clock (the ending of the citywide special) we made trips to two more bars. Stir, the new gay friendly joint just off Rittenhouse Square, and Vango, always a favorite of mine. Walking down the ally to Stir however, made me feel as if I was going to a shady bathhouse, not the new homo-mingler. Once more, the crowd chanting Stir dashed my hopes for the Continental Midtown roof deck- trading it for a cement sanatorium. It’s cute, but no windows are a serious concern for me.

After ambling away from John, my bartender who apparently didn’t know how to pour beer (I’m not kidding you; he took my Blue Moon bottle, dumped it into a 16 ounce fluted pint and gave me 10 inches of foam), we kiki-ed at Vango. Highly recommended, although stay away on Saturday night, toooooo crowded. To my bartenders and severs: please check out my girl Cyoni’s Industry Night at Vango every Monday. Look for a gorgeous petite blonde with knockers up to her chin, tell her Phreaked sent you Miss Honey.

Detailed list of ‘Sips’ participants HERE…

You Need This

Eerie. Mystical. Perfect.

Ratatat puts chills on my back…

PLAY Ratatat: Shiller

Mizz Thang

Philly Horrendous

I did not need to see that this morning…

You, hauling up the Spring Garden subway steps in your patchwork plaid shorts.

I think this might have been an attempt to look like a coquette co-ed on your way to the Community College, alas, these Amazing Technicolor Dreamshorts do not hide the fact you look at least 35, and indeed, only create a larger fat-ass.

I’m not saying clad yourself in black alone. But as I watched you, I could only think the manufacturers of these “short shorts” truly did you a disservice by making these in your size.

May I suggest some capris without “spectra-vision”? You’re a shorter, curvier woman so choose a length about knee level as to not look even smaller… may I suggest:

They hug you at your waist, one of your tiniest parts and will accentuate that great lower curve of your back but flare out from there leaving your legs feeling free.

This is going to be a hot sticky summer in Filthadelphia mamn, and I don’t need you running around pretending to be any spring chick. CAMOUFLAGE that cellulite, NOW!

Summer Looove: Etsy means Easy Adornment

So I know I’ve been missing as of late and I’m sure you were just jonesing to get Phreaked. Fear not my pretty kitties, while suffering a writing block, the ideas were, however, limitless. That is to say, I had lots of great things to mention but these Fin g .ers. jUst. w..ould. noT. ty p e!! Ugh!

Thank you for all the Loooove concerning my last post on the immeasurable style of Sex and the City. 3,145 views to date! Quite a success for me; and hopefully just the first of many. Mwa Bella!!

Speaking of Smashin’ Fashion: ETSY

My new obsession is a website featuring designers from all around the country (and beyond) selling unique handmade crafts, gifts, jewelry and fashion.

There are several ways to hunt for dazzling items:

-Browse categories such as: Accessories, Paper goods, Glass, Vintage, Furniture (and many, many more)

-Look up lists in the Treasury, where other users group together favorite items by a theme (ex. Turquoise & the American West)

-Treat the eyes with wonders in Showcase: Etsy pulls the “Top Items” from thousands of sellers. “Fresh Daily”

-Be Playful, Pounce!! Users can view sellers waiting to make their first sale (oh, be a humanitarian already!) OR view sellers who just made a sale.

-Traverse the Geolocator: Etsy’s Globe shows you the most recently published items from around the world. Think Google Earth but for en mode.

-Speaking of fashion forward, take a trip in the Time Machine and be UP TO THE MINUTE. As items just listed float on the screen just begging to find a home. Seriously, this is worse than a trip to the pound for me… “Mama, I wanna take em all home!!”

-Gift Guides are a lifesaver!! The user can choose between who will be receiving the gift, the occasion, the time of the year as well as that special person’s tastes. PHUCK Overstock. Great Prices and Originality.

-Colors: While seemingly NOT the most exciting program that Etsy offers, it is actually wildly amusing. Also quite helpful for someone trying to match home accessories in the Perrrrfect living space.

-Shop Local: Obviously a favorite. Check out my finds below.

While you can buy dresses and hand painted shoes, I’m quite partial to creative jewelry myself. Not only because it makes a statement with any boring outfit but because jewelry always tells a story. Think about what you’re wearing this moment: What was the occassion? How does it make you feel? (Please Comment Below!)

Oh, the lovely thing about ordering jewelery online? No ‘wrong size.’

These are the finds in Philly that make me want to empty my bank account:

Feeling edgy? Show it with sweetteeth’s handmade glass beads resembling pulled teeth!!
Would this be an inappropriate gift for Grandma?

I cannot get enough of this designer!! pinkflamingo61takes found item/vintage jewelry to another stratosphere!

FallenHearts‘ carries a wide array of vintage jewelry, like this ivory cuff from India.
Oh, just think of all the places it has been!

PreciousMeshes employs metal wire to net and nest some truly enviable objects.
Simple. Delicate. Lovely.

What’s your favorite piece of jewelry?

Where did you get it?

Summer Loooove: Brilliant Fashion in the NEW Sex and the City Movie!!

Tuesday night I was fortunate enough to be in a seat at the Ritz East for an advanced screening of Sex and the City. Oh My PHucking God. It is amazing. Reuniting with four of my favorite girlfriends was so exciting!! You could feel the enthusiasm in the air as Sarah Jessica Parker’s infamous voiceover re-introduced us to each lady.

The audience literally ohhhhh-ed with anticipation.

Now, I don’t want to give away too much about the movie, but know this: NO ONE DIES! Apparently some ridiculous rumor about Charlotte dying in childbirth is going around! NOT TRUE. Yet, some of our usual complications DO arise. Miranda is riding Steve too hard (although not literally, which is a touchy sexual issue itself), Big and Carrie still have BIG marriage issues, Charlotte continually worries unnecessarily about her family and Samantha, well Samantha never has too much of an issue that a little sex can’t solve, does she? But really, even she encounters an issue she can’t fuck away: fidelity.

Of course I have to mention the 5^th and most prominent character of Sex and the City: FASHION!

I had a full-on couture hard-on for the whole movie.

I absolutely adored almost everything Miranda had on. Especially: this metallic dress worn in the opening scene.

As well as this black and white one worn at an auction scene:

It seems they put Miranda in a lot of geometric prints which I knew would be huge this summer with the 60’s edging back into style. Charlotte is sprouting florals everywhere! As well as clean lines. While Samantha is as bright as a canary. Think tropical yellows, reds and blues.

Carrie as usual, edges between high end tomboy and runway darling. Of course the epitome of lovely is when she dons several different designer wedding gowns for a VOGUE fashion shoot that features the sex and relationships writer as a bride at 40. “The Last Single Girl,” they decide to call the article. Do you not adore this Vivienne Westwood?! AHHH

Each actor brings his and her best, making for some truly emotional scenes. (I cried!!) The editing is fantastic as well. Sooooooo… GO SEE, GO SEE, GO SEE!!

On a softer note, I felt a sort of redemption undercutting the emotional journey we took with our heroine. In the end, the LOVE was apparent, as well as lessons in forgiveness. Which when you think of it, is the biggest expression of unconditional love, is it not??

There have been times watching Sex and The City that my negative attitudes towards love and attachment have only been reinforced.

Mainly that it’s too complicated, not worth it. But as I sat watching four of my beloved characters and their men sit down to dinner in the final scenes of the movie, I got it. Essentially, what the show has always been trying to tell me: have hope. That the search for love is messy, painful, tragic at times even, but in the end, it is found.

It is found.

In the meantime, I’ll collect handbags… go get yourself something NEON. That is an order.

Until Next time,

Phreaked

P.S. Feel free to comment on the movie if you have seen it, or ASK questions on the comments board! Thanks!

Temperance as Dry as a Salt Lake

In Salt Lake City where Mormon (Church of Later Day Saints) values are tied into every day life, there is a peculiarity in the bar scene for tourists not of that faith.

Bar memberships.

Oh sure, we’ve all heard of private after-hours clubs here in Philadelphia, but this isn’t the same. It’s not about advantage; it’s about encumbering alcohol, or perhaps the sin of drinking. To even enter a bar, especially one fully stocked with both beer AND LIQUOR, you must be a member. This can cost as little as $4 for a 3 month membership or $13 to $30 for a yearly membership. You don’t HAVE TO be a member to drink at a bar establishment, but you have to enter with one.

New liquor laws passed several months ago have pulled malt drinks like Mike’s Hard Lemonade from grocery stores and state-run liquor stores.

Goodness Gracious!! Should a Good Upstanding Mormon wander into a store looking to wet his whistle he might be erroneously deceived!

Sidecars are banned.

Martinis contain one ounce of alcohol. Ewww.

No wonder when I asked for Stoli Bluberri on the rocks they looked at me like I was crazy.

For anyone who visits Salt Lake however, please hit up The Bayou (true Beervana) on 645 State Street, their extensive beer list made me believe I truly saw the face of God. He resides in a frothy Aventinus doppelbock.

For more information on these laws visit here.

Last but not least, would you ever support something like this in Philadelphia??

hah. Why do I even ask?

Summer Loooove: The Sexy One Piece

I’ve never really been a fan of showing off my stomach.

Yet, I’ve also never been a “big girl.”

I remember my first two-piece vividly. It was burgundy with yellow and silver racing stripes. The top was razor back style accompanied by adorable boy shorts. Not as if the top held anything in, I was 12.

*Looks down* Hmmm… not much has changed.

I grew up with an “outie” belly button. Is that where this shyness came from? “It” mysteriously maneuvered itself inward just in time for my pre- pubescent sexiness to be unleashed.

The Britney fashions of the late 90’s were a tad frustrating for me.

Since then I have spent every swimsuit season in the changing room for up to an hour trying on numerous suits and hating the shape of my hips or the length of my torso or whatever new body image issue I can come up with under the stress of that oh-so-flattering florescent lighting.

The trip to Vegas put me in an upstart to find a new suit. This year I resolved to myself that I had seen an increasing amount of sexy one pieces and gosh darn it, I was going to embrace my conservative side and find the right “onesie” for me. After all, what’s sexier than feeling comfortable??

Some that I love:

..

…..

My lucky number this season is a turquoise halter one piece with a plunging neckline and low cut back. The high cut leg favors my long legs, as the halter shows off my shoulders and neck. My La Blanca suit also features gold hardware.

Lose the quasi-ethnic beading and THIS is my suit…

So what are everyone’s favorite beaches to hit? Local or not, let me know!!

Getting Back into the Swing of Things

Hey everyone,

I’m finally back from my vacation. I was barely able to make it to a computer!! So I’ll post about the good, bad and ugly of the crazy-dirty Southwest over the coming week. I’ll still be covering phantastic Philadelphia as well of course. Soon I expect be be launching a weekly calendar of events… places you need to!

So where was I exactly? First I hit up Salt Lake City for two days, then beau and I pilgrimaged to Zion National Park in southern Utah (absolutely breathtaking), from there we made our way to Las Vegas for three nights, and then drove pedal to-the-metal until we hit Dallas. Every city was a new experience for me, I thoroughly enjoyed learning more about what this vast country has to offer. Zounds!! National treasures abound!

REAL National Treasures mind you, not a certain radio show host by the name of Michael Savage whose radio show I picked up on my way through Arizona. A depressing, dried-up homophobe whose love for himself greatly surpasses his love for his country. This egotistacle closet(ed)-case when speaking about his high ratings had the audacity to sputter out, (and I quote) “… that’s why Michael Savage is a national treasure.” Third person, reallllllly?

Look at this propagandist. He’s as bad as Bill O’Reilly.

Phreaked is going to puke.

Phhhhreaked for the Desert

In case you’ve been wondering where your Phreaked bitch has been, I migrated to the Southwest for some education on desert survival and polygamy revival.

Leaving Salt Lake City behind, I’ll be traveling a few hours southwest to Zion National Park. We’ll be roughing it in just a sleeping bag under the stars and I can’t wait!

At the same time, I’m a little nervous to be so isolated from other people and society. I’m a city girl at heart now and wide open spaces creep me out a bit. I just don’t want any The Hills Have Eyes shit goin’ down.

Ugly people just freak me out, whether they’re radioactive hillbilly mutants or redneck Mormons dressed in homemade fashions.

That dress is from the pre-Jurassic period, is it not? (btw, Mormons don’t believe in dinosaurs).