Is God Mad at Philly? July 25, 2008

Maybe this seems a little late, but can you believe those storms Wednesday night?

O.M.Phucking.G.

ohhhh gurrrrrrrrrrl! Des bout to be some shit goin' down TOnight!

I actually got caught outside walking Thompkins, my beloved lil gentleman, when it started pouring.

I check the weather obsessively so I had brought my massive-ist Mary Poppins-like umbrella which I immediately popped open. We also stood under a tree because…

Thompkins just TOO diva to walk in the rain bIAtches!!

(Said in Phreaked’s best N. Philly trannie hooker voice)

When it had cleared, or so I thought, we started walking again, only to make it two blocks before THE Heeeavens Opened Up and Raineth Down Vengeance My Child!!

Imagine me, between the marble columns of an apartment building, trying to seek shelter… only to huddle in the corner of the apartment landing with my umbrella strategically moving to whatever directing the wind was trying to wisk away me and my lil black dog. Wicked!!

We managed to stay pretty warm and dry as the thunder was BOOMING and lightening CRACKING right above our heads. CRAZY

I know I should have just jumped in a cab, but I was kind of having fun roughing it.

Then again, I used to play “orphans” instead of “house” when I was little. Maybe I read too many Boxcar Children Books…

Don't worry Benny, we're just going to squat here until our rich Grandpa comes and saves us

Bojibian- It don’t mean a thing July 17, 2008

Actually, Philadelphia, it means a lot.

I’m not really a concert girl. I don’t dig going to The Kyber and getting wasted to bands that just come off sounding like noise. Plus it really ruins the elastic in my skinny jeans when I start sweating too much. Really. Or knowing my luck, some 230 pound oaf kicks me in the ankle as he throws his arms above his head and staggers forward in a half-drunk leap screaming ‘Yeahhhhhh!!!‘ Thus, permanently disabling me and my hawwt heeled look. Ugh.

My music exploration is typically an online experience, discovering new groups through music blogs. Minimizes my interaction with groupies. Honestly, I can’t say that the Philly music scene promotes itself as much as it should.

This city has a penchant for undervaluing talent!
Which is why they all leave, right?

But then there is Philly Rising, an open mic night every Monday at World Cafe Live. I went a few months ago. O. My. Phucking. G!! Great music gives me that light-headed, heart-beating-out-of-my-chest sort of pleasure. Ah, Bojibian.

Pronounced bo-JIB-ee-an, these guys are brutal. Beautifully untamed. When I first saw them, they took the stage in sunglasses; like, ‘Hey we don’t take ourselves too seriously…’ but then proceeded to seriously rock out. The band consists of Stephen Lorek, Niles Weiss, James Scullion and Dylan Mulcahy. They pull off style and talent. Phucking down-right panache.

I won’t even mention how young they are because I’m sick of how every youthful music act has to be some surprise… I mean really, how many geezers do you know who still have passion? Life is draining, man. SO counteracting my extremely jaded nature, I listen to Bojibian songs that are light, fun, LOUD, upbeat. That’s the best way I can say it, as I’ve never been one for categorizing music, and Bojibian won’t cage themselves in either:

Stylistically, the group draws from many different influences, at times sounding like some sort of post-modern mash-up of pop, post-punk, classic rock, post-grunge, Southern rock, and arena rock…or something like that.

So.

This Saturday.

Go to World Cafe Live.

Bojibian will be on at 9 pm. They will also be selling their debut album which they have been working on furtively for the past 2 months. Commendable for a band that’s only been together since the beginning of this year!

HEAR THEM on Myspace. My fav? Hallway. Although Upstroke and Call Me In The Morning have been stuck in my head lately

click to buy Tix!!

I’ll be sad when they leave us for NYC.

I kid. I kid. Well, sorta.

Oh, Lady of the Night July 17, 2008

I composed this letter in my head last night as I was trying to take my dog for a late-night jaunt and found myself aggravatingly trolling behind a ‘lady’ of questionable reputation.

Trannie-licious…

Dearest Trannie Hooker,

I know you feel the need to saunter, shaking that jello-o all about, what with, trying to attract the ‘Johns’ and all… but could you please speed it up before I let my dog chomp on your STD-ridden ass? We both know what corner you’re walking to, so get your ass there already. Slut. And a word of advice, stop looking behind you at every car that passes darling, it looks a little desperate. Oh, wait. Nevermind, Get Money Guuuuuurl!

Always Your Neighborhood Bitch,

Phreaked

Eventually I just crossed the street… and then on the way back home I think I saw one of her ‘co-workers’ coming out from behind some building with a guy. Ah, Philly at it’s best.

Phreaked for The Submarines, Phucked by Consumerism May 6, 2008

Today I discovered The Submarines. In particular the songs “Brighter Discontent” and “You, Me & The Bourgeoisie.” The former, with lyrics like:

“Got a big black television set/Now I can watch just what I want/But I’m here staring up/At pictures on the wall….All these things should make me happy/Make me happy to be home again,”

reminds me of all the things we buy to fill our empty houses can’t fill the emptiness in our heats. I’ve shortened and reposted a previous post from my Myspace blog about how consumerism has replaced personal creativity. Enjoy!

Brighter Discontent- The Submarines

You, Me & The Bourgeoisie- The Submarines

Listen to The Submarines further here

Consumerism: Controlling All You Cunts

Invariably, when I think of the future I reason to myself, that as a writer, I will probably never make a lot of money. Then the notion sneaks into my brain; “Well, my husband will just have to have a good job.” And no, I don’t think that’s an un-feminist thought, quite the opposite… but a tad pathetic? Yes.

So where did this come from? Perhaps I am a tasteless mix of burning American greed, Korean financial values and let us not forget, Madonna’s Material Girl was released the same year I was born. Every conversation I have with Mom Mom involves a variation of: “Shannnnnnon, You keep your eyes open! You maarrrry richie guy some day!”

My friend Devin works 13 hour days at a mall as a detective for loss prevention; he has about one day off during which he runs errands, does laundry and pretends to have a semblance of a life that goes beyond new mothers stuffing clothes from Steve & Barry’s into their strollers. As he shows off his new couch and flat screen TV, I ponder when he has time to enjoy these things. He continues to tell me about his plans for living room surround sound. Goodness. Let us spend money on EXPERIENCES rather than THINGS.

I find it ironic Devin apprehends people not willing to pay for products they covet, while he suffers from the same intense desire to consume: as a measure of completing his life. Loss Prevention. We don’t want to lose items, but it’s okay if we lose our minds.

Objects are valued over Substance.

Has purchasing goods replaced creativity? Is buying (mass-produced, inauthentic goods) equal to the satisfaction of ‘creating’ without the act of mental stimulation and in some cases, problem solving?

That rush, the high, you get when you think you’ve found the perfect item; is THAT feeling of “completeness” the same feeling I get when I create a new recipe, craft or fashion? I’ve been subject to both, but I know there is no need to lecture you on the lasting effects of what is genuine.

By the way the Submarines will be at the North Star May 31st. You know Phreaked will be there.